Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Jealousy

Today I sit here saddened by the behaviour of people who profess to be spiritual and yet whose hearts are far removed from being spiritual people. Yes, I know we see this all the time in life, but I find it increasingly hard the older I get to understand what it is in people that they have to behave in this way, but I think I have now seen a pattern and recognised why it happens. Wherever I go, there are such good, decent people of all beliefs and cultures throughout the world who are trying their hardest to make a difference for the better and to be kind, warm and generous people and yet who are often under attack from others. I am no different, it has also happened to me and I'm sure it's probably happened to you at some point.

Then there are the others. The ones who pretend to be oh so nice, butter wouldn't melt types who sit on the fence all the time in case they offend anyone. We all know this isn't them really because everyone in the world has an opinion or a point of view and when they think no one is looking or they've fooled everyone into believing how nice they are - they attack. It is often either done behind closed doors in a bullying way, or in public but very subtly so as to make the other person look the guilty party. As soon as they've caused the trouble, they stand back and watch and then pretend their words weren't meant like that, but were taken the wrong way.

They know exactly what they are doing and yet sit back acting all innocent and hurt while the one they've attacked and incite into retaliating is made to look to be the one in the wrong. I have seen it happen so often though my life and wondered why good people have this conflict put in their paths and how others watching often don't see the truth of what just happened right in front of their eyes. Because I've seen it happen to others and I get it happen to me, I have pondered about it wondering why it is we have to put up with this from certain people and the more I watched it happening to others and myself, one thing became clear about the ones doing this.

What pleasure do they derive from causing upset to people who are otherwise enjoying each others company and living their lives their own way? I'll tell you why. They want to be noticed - to be made centre of attention for a while and to have everyone feel sorry for them as it's the only way they get seen. Each time I've seen it done, it has been because of their own insecurities about who or what they are. They want to be like the person they have tried to make look bad. They are jealous of them and their achievements usually. They want to be in their company and try to learn off them or just be with them until one day, it all gets too much for them and their jealousy pours over and they have to do something about it.

It is totally unnecessary and only hurts the one who has done it whilst the one it's aimed at or those bystanders who have to be party to it all, move on from it with no more thought. Doing what they do doesn't change their lives or who or what they are though, only they can change that themselves, but they can't as they don't know how and so they'll go to another place and do the same again wherever they go. There is often a pattern to it and if we see them in different places we can see it starting all over again. This is how I came to recognise what was happening. They don't know how to behave or what to do to improve their own lives and so they lash out at the very person they once admired and wanted to be like.

It is very sad and I only wish we could help them, but we can't. Some people don't want to be helped as they refuse to acknowledge what they're doing. They can't see what others can see and this is the sadness of it all. If you are one of those who has been at the receiving end of this unjustified behaviour, don't fight back as that's what they want. Let it go, ignore what was said or is happening and it will go away very quickly. It is the attention they crave and if it isn't given to them they go elsewhere. Whatever you do, don't think it's you, it isn't.

2 comments:

  1. I feel sorry for them, it's not a nice human trait is it? :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. It almost always comes down to poor self-esteem, Lorraine...sadly so.

    ReplyDelete