How many people do you know who have committed suicide? I know quite a few who have throughout my life. There are more again whose names I have heard of but have never met who have done so as well. There is one thing some of them have in common; it isn't always the ones you think have a problem with depression. It is often the ones who appear strong, confident and full of life who actually do it and that's why it comes as such a shock and with no warning at all.
There are the ones who are obviously depressed, have problems and are known to be people we need to keep an eye on, but with a lot of them it isn't at all obvious and that is scary. How can we help those who cry behind closed doors, who have no confidence, who feel life is too much of a struggle to bother continuing with if they bottle it up and hide it from the world? They have to appear strong and cannot be seen to be weak and in need of help; these are the ones who often need the most help. They are the ones who one day go away without a word and end their lives with no warning whatsoever.
I remember one man in particular coming into my office many years ago and asking if he could talk to me. He wanted to meet with me after work for a talk as he said he felt he could talk to me and that I'd listen. I said no to him. The reason I said no, is because he was married and I thought he was coming on to me. How many of us have heard the old saying, 'My wife doesn't understand me.' and ignored it? The next morning I heard he had committed suicide the night before. I have never forgotten him and often wonder if me listening could have helped.
None of us knows what goes on behind closed doors in anyone's lives and sometimes, we need to stop and think about people and their behaviour. Ask ourselves why some act the way they do and what has caused it. Everything might appear to be rosy and well on the outside, but behind their own closed door it might be a different matter altogether. Next time you see someone who seems to over re-act to a simple thing it might be because they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. A man or woman who seems to be dismissive of their lovely, partner who everyone thinks is wonderful, could well be being abused by them in private. If you think about it, you'll realise if someone is acting nastily to another person seemingly without reason, it usually means there is a reason and you just don't know what that reason is.
The truth is, none of us knows the truth about anyone unless we live with them and even then sometimes it is hard to know what goes through their minds. So next time someone 's behaviour seems a little strange to you, ask yourself why it might be. Is a husband or wife as pleasant to their other half as they are to other people or is it an act to make you think they're nice people? Is the charmed life seen in public really as charmed as someone makes it out to be? Is the cock-sure 'flash Harry' really as cock-sure as he's making out or is it all an act? Before we judge others, let's try to ask what their life might be like and not make rash judgements as I did with Brian that day - after all, you might one day have many years ahead of you to regret those thoughts and wonder if you could have helped the way I now wonder if I could have helped Brian.