Thursday, 20 January 2011

Snobs, Inverted Snobs and Manners

On television this evening, there was a programme about Bovey Castle (near where I live). It is rather a lovely building and costs quite a lot to stay there. The sad thing is, a girl who is training in the hotel trade, refers to the people who are able to afford to stay there as snobs. Now, quite a few might well be on expense accounts and have delusions of grandeur, but on the whole, those who can afford to do things others can't aren't all snobs and it upsets me to hear them called that just because they have a different lifestyle to others.

I mix with a variety of people from all walks of life and with very differing bank balances and backgrounds. The only ones who act as snobs are those who have made a little bit of money and think they have suddenly become better than other people. They haven’t, all they have often become is rude, arrogant, deluded about their position in life and rather sad people that most others try to avoid like the plague. Now these are snobs. A snob is not someone who can afford a plush, expensive, privileged lifestyle (or any other name you wish to call it), it is someone who wants to pretend they have far more than they have and are often flashy with it.

It is sad to hear people with less than others being so rude about perfectly ordinary and decent people just because they can afford to live in a way we’d all quite like to live. Even sadder, are the people who refuse to do things in a polite manner and deliberately try to stand out as being uncouth just to make a point. The ones who do talk and behave in that way are themselves guilty of snobbery only this time it is an inverted snobbery. Why can’t people live and let live? Why do they have to be nasty about people who have done nothing wrong apart from being born to a different lifestyle?

Another thing the same girl thought as being snobby, was learning how to do things correctly. Why is it that people who have manners or eat properly are called snobs these days? She begrudged having to learn how to speak to people politely and with manners, how to behave in the dining room and all manner of other things. She thought being taught all the things that would make her succeed in her work were snobbish and she didn’t want to do it. How sad to have such a shuttered and blinkered outlook – and if she was of that opinion, what was she doing in that work and agreeing to the training she had to undergo if she had no intention of taking it seriously?

People are all so different aren’t they? It makes for a far more interesting life in some ways, but I do wish others would learn not to be so nasty about people just because they are different to themselves. If people you see aren’t rude to you, being nasty in any way and are just getting on with their lives quietly (whether it’s the same as yours or not), then leave them alone. It doesn’t make them bad and it doesn’t make them snobs, it just makes them different.

Besides, it isn’t about money, it’s about breeding. Money doesn’t buy breeding and acquiring money doesn’t make you more of a lady or a gentleman. Breeding comes with background and upbringing and those of good breeding always have manners and make people comfortable in their company no matter who they are mixing with. If you are with someone who makes you uncomfortable through their behaviour and not because of your insecurities, who talks down to you or is obnoxious in the extreme, then they are not well bred no matter how much money they say they have. They are not ladies and they aren’t gentlemen, these are the true snobs who no one would be seen dead with unless they were of the same ilk..

1 comment:

  1. Hey Lorraine, oh I understand this. In my area I went to school with a bunch of kids who had money and it surprised me when some of them didn't act like they were better than me. I guess it still surprises me today when people with money act just like regular people and a lot do because they EARNED their money the good old fashioned way, they worked for it. And they got it honest so I feel that those sorts of folks don't act snobby. It's the ones who are spoiled that act mean about it and look at the poor simple folks like they are nothing.

    I agree with you that some of the folks with money have really good manners and some don't, I rather enjoy a good conversation with someone (no matter their walk of life and or monetary value) that is of good manners versus someone who doesn't.

    Good post!