Saturday, 11 December 2010

I Now Feel Like A 'Real' Author

It is quite an incredible feeling to discover people are interested in buying a book you have written. Although one of my books is only mainly available online at present, it is still selling better than I dared hope. I can check sales on most of the sites and can see if any have sold overnight and it is an incredible feeling to wake up to find someone in the world has bought what you've written.

At the start, a lot of the sales were from people I had met online - other writers or internet friends who had asked when one of my books could be bought. It is lovely to know they lend their support and are interested in what you have to say, but to find strangers who have never talked to you have bought your book is another thing entirely.

I have been online and seen people from two different countries talking favourably about a book they had just bought and were reading. It turned out to be mine. Another day, I saw something that has really stunned me. On a site I visit from time to time, I was looking around at various people and their profiles when I came across one person who lives in a far off country and under favourite author was my name. Me, Lorraine Holloway-White, that is the most incredible feeling in the world. What's more, I have seen it again elsewhere since.

At first, I was upset that people I know and allegedly close to me didn't (and haven't) buy my book. I thought they, more than anyone, would be the first to support me. I think I now realise why none of them are doing so. It is because they have known me for too long. They know the person who kept it hidden about her gifts for so many years and appeared to be as they were - normal - in their eyes. Suddenly, this woman they've known for years comes out gradually about what she does and they aren't sure what to think about it. On top of that, I now write books when I never showed any interest in doing so before.

That and the fact it has all happened, in their eyes, in the space of a year is rather a shock to them and takes some getting used to. The books have happened in that space of time, but the spiritual side of me has been coming out slowly for years and most just chose to ignore it as it was not something they could comprehend. I am a different person now to the one they have known as they ignored most of the changes as they were happening and they need to get used to the new me. My gifts have been there for many years, but I did hide most of it from people for a variety of reasons. It is only since I became completely comfortable with them that I have felt able to 'come out' fully so to speak. It is quite interesting watching the different reactions I have received.

If I do talks and  the room is filled with people i don't know, they listen with interest, ask lots of questions and most buy my book. They ask for it to be signed and are really excited to have a signed copy. Then there are the times I am with people I know and none listen properly to what I am saying as they feel it their right to make silly remarks and make fun of it all as I'm talking to the crowd. I have no idea why some feel they have to do this, but then they expect me to give my book to them for nothing because I know them. I offer it at a discounted price as it is, but they believe everyone I know personally should have a copy for nothing.

A handful of people I know well have been very supportive in a distant sort of way, but the majority are not sure at all and I find I have distanced myself from them as much as they have from me. I am a different person in lots of ways. The Lorraine they know is still there, but another side to that person has shed her coat and come into the open. That side has more confidence and feels she can take on the world and win. They might not want to buy my books as they find it difficult to accept the new me, but luckily, there are people all over the world who are buying them and who look to me as a teacher and are helped by what I write and I am delighted for their support and encouragement. If you are one of the people who has bought it, thank you so much and I hope you are enjoying it.

There are more books to follow and as one fellow writer said to me on the telephone last night, now I've started there is no stopping me. I am churning out books as though they were easy to do. A Sceptical Medium - book two is two thirds finished and I have two others well on the way also. What, with those and my two original completed ones that were the first to ever be written, I'm not doing too badly for having only started last November am I?

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