Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Why Do "Friends" Ignore My Work?

I have put this on both blogs as they are read by different people and the contents are recognisable to so many of us.
It is said a prophet is never listened to in his own country and that is very true. Obviously I don't mean that in the literal sense, but it is quite peculiar how many people I have met who find the same as I do in their own towns. People they know, often ignore their work as though it doesn't exist. The same happens to me and now I have cut the majority of these people out of my life. If I was to suddenly (ha ha) become famous, those same people would be crowding to see me and be my 'best friends'. At the moment all they do is snigger and ridicule as they say I have to be humoured. Why do I need to be humoured?
I am married to a solicitor and most of the people who know him think I should be as they are. A stay at home wife with nothing better to do than go to beauty parlours, luncheon's, coffee mornings and shopping. I have never been that type and they know it.  Besides, I don't get an allowance or have a joint bank account as they do. I have to earn my own money, always have and always will. I have worked throughout my life, had my own businesses, founded and run an international relief aid agency, am a natural medium and healer and now an author, but to them - I do nothing or even if a few do acknowledge any of it, it is treated as something I am playing at and not to be taken seriously!
There is one man in particular my husband knows who refuses to address women in conversation around the dinner table as he thinks they are all brain-dead. Some of  the ones he mixes with are (isn't that rude of me!), but I am not, so why is it I am treated as though my work is something to be ignored? I have actually achieved more than this particular man and mixed with people he'll only ever dream of meeting and he knows it, so why is he so rude? More to the point, why is he allowed to be so rude and dismissive of me?
Of all the people I know, and there are many, only two people locally (friends) have asked to see my book or hear about any of the others I've written. All the rest of them are completely disinterested and if I am asked what I'm doing and say truthfully writing books  and running a site promoting authors around the world, I am looked at as though I am very strange, dismissed as though I have said something dirty or offensive and then ignored completely as though I am not normal. None of this attitude has anything to do with the subject matter of my books as they haven't even bothered to ask what they are about.
I have sat back and watched what is going on and have found myself drawing away from all of these people. I am almost becoming a recluse in my town now as there are very few people I want to mix with these days. I can't do shallow or materialistic and certainly can't act the dumb blond so have pulled myself back from all of the people who are this way.  It makes for a very lonely life, but at least I now know who my real friends are.
It doesn't matter to me what lives they lead, but it is rather hurtful to be treated as a 'nothing' just because they can't understand what I do. I discovered recently that some of them are now saying I imagine I'm doing all I am and have to be humoured like a silly child with a pretend friend. Is it me that's sad, or is it them? Maybe it's both, but one thing I do know now is why so many people in life do become reclusive. It is very easy to become so, believe me. I am respected by so many people around the world for which I am grateful, but have to say though, just a little 'well done' from someone I know locally would be nice.


  1. Hi Lorraine, they're not your friends firstly. Secondly they're jealous and their way of getting at you is either to not ask, or to put you down as if you're some kind of nutter.

    Becoming reclusive or perceived as such is easy when you are surrounded by small-town people like that.. I mean who wants to mix with the likes ? If you cant be yourself when you are with others, then best be alone I say !

    Jimi Hendrix had to go to London to get recognition.. In the US it wasn't working for him.. since his death 40 years ago, the music and partcularly the guitar world still marvels at his short-lived but incredible contribution he made.. still were never the same after Jimi.

    Keep it up, and dont let TQ types get you down ! JAG

  2. Walk away from them, Lorraine. No one needs 'friends' like that. Tell your hubby you're not interested in mingling with those folks in the future. They only bring you down, and you're too good a person to have to deal with that.