Sunday, 12 September 2010

Spiders


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It's that time of year again - spider mating season - and last night I met up with a huge one. Not for mating you understand. What's worse, I was walking in bare feet and passed really close to it before I realised it was there. I shudder at the thought of it. I hate September for the reason that's when the spider's come out. I have to hunt and look for them everywhere. I check behind the bed each night and behind the loo, everywhere  in fact.

I think there is something to be said about getting on a ship and cruising for a month until the spider season is over. I just need to meet someone who has enough money to allow us to do it. The worst time was waking up in bed and feeling a tickle on my arm. Yes, you guessed it, a spider. Even worse though, was because I was half asleep, I put my hand there, picked it up and threw it. Oh God, I wish I hadn't said that, it's giving me the creeps.

What is it about them that so many of us are phobic about them? I'll tell you why I am. They have far too many legs and can move in any direction at such high speed that it's difficult to get away from them. How come they can run in any direction? I am a bit better now with the ones that aren't thick and black with huge bodies, or even dark brown with huge bodies. I can't be doing with the ones with legs about six foot long though.

Oh God it's no good. I can't possibly write any more. i am imagining spiders crawling all over me now. I keep feeling things creeping on my legs and shoulders. Roll on October when they've all gone back into hiding, that's all I can say.

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